I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
