Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
