I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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