im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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