my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
They should really pass out barf bags in church
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
