put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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