She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
