I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
