Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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