Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
