She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
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unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
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Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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