she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize