Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
