I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
