ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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