I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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