just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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