Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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