He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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