No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
