How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
