I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
