belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
