OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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