Me. At least after what I've been through.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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