What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
