Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
