I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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