Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
