to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
