This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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