he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
