I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
