you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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