Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
