Do you still have your period?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize