Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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