Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
my poor anus
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
