is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
