White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just high enough for therapy.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
