Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Someone signed my nipple.
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