its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
