if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
