1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
