is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
