Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize