How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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