I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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