she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
