I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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