put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
