Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
