dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
