just come out here and I will go home with you...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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