I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
