Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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